Weddings

Weddings in the United States constitute a $33 billion unregulated industry annually where the average wedding budget for the late 1990s was estimated at 120,000. Approximately 2.5 million couples marry annually in the United States, after emotional, social and legal negotiations between the couple and among families (providing the grist for constant television and movie narratives). Despite commitment, cost and preparation, it is also estimated that four out of ten marriages will fail.

Parents generally do not arrange marriages, unless their religious tradition strongly encourages it. Most states require both parties to be eighteen, unless they have parental consent. In fact, brides and grooms have been getting older since the Second World War, the average age being 24.5 years for brides and 26.9 years for grooms. Engagements are lasting longer, too, averaging fourteen months.

Weddings may be civil and religious; these rules may also conflict. Bigamy and polygamy for example, are not permitted in the United States, despite religious traditions that permit those practices (Islam, Mormons). Some religions require a waiting period, counseling or conversion prior to a wedding. Clergy conduct religious ceremonies (sometimes multiply in inter-faith marriages), and judges or other recognized officials conduct civil ceremonies. In other cases, the time it may take to make it to a drive-in chapel may suffice—Las Vegas is famous for this industry Small civil ceremonies have reflected economic constraints and a desire for privacy The wedding event itself may be rich in family or religious traditions or a unique experience reflecting the personalities or lifestyles of the couple; often, a classic American “large wedding” influences even rebellions against formalities. Different ethnic and cultural traditions are also influenced by perceptions of this American model in synthetic ceremonies and receptions.

The mother of the bride used to have the most responsibilities for planning the wedding, for which the father paid. Today’s bridal couples often take responsibility for their own weddings. As they are older, they have established tastes, careers and a wider circle of friends. The best man and maid of honor tend to be peers, either close friends or relatives; friends and family are also incorporated as bridesmaids, ushers and junior attendants. Numbers and elaboration of dress depend on the size and cost of the wedding. June used to be the traditional month for weddings, following commencements. Today more marry in the fall or during winter holidays. Brides still prefer white or ivory bridal gowns, costing between $500 and $2,500, but more radical or practical choices may be adapted to the ceremony.

Couples may register for household products at discount stores and hardware stores in addition to the traditional china, crystal and silver selections. Cash gifts are favored by many. These may be applied to the honeymoon, a traditional vacation after the wedding, or to setting up a new household.

Weddings have been affected by combined families, mixed traditions and changing gender roles. Children and former families may be dealt with in the planning and ceremony; multiple inlaws and step-families often demand careful juggling. In 1999 the Vermont Supreme Court outlawed discriminatory practices that precluded same-sex marriages, while some other sates, cities and groups have worked to recognize commitment ceremonies. This remains a hotly contested point among social and religious groups and for the changing nature of marriage in the twenty-first century.

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